It doesn't happen often (or often enough) that I come across an old poem I had forgotten about. Down below is one of those. I’m introducing it with something I posted back when this substack first began and this small circle was much smaller. (I’m grateful for you.)
“And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.”– Matthew 11:12
In 2012 my wife of thirty years and I became familiar with the psychological work of Bill Plotkin and the Animas Valley Institute. We were struggling, but struggling with each other rather than against each other. Our Christian faith and Christian community had let us down at a crucial time, yet that estrangement from others had increased our trust in each other.
On June 15 of that summer we heard Plotkin speak at a Catholic monastery in nearby Lagrange Park. We were already familiar enough with his book Soulcraft to make the one hour drive through rush hour traffic on a Friday night.
It’s difficult to express what happened. Bill is not an impressive speaker, and yet somehow, for lack of a better term, we were both awakened. In many ways, he was only upgrading Carl Jung. But whereas previous encounters with Jung had left us unsatisfied, Bill’s combination of psychological insight, poetic expression, and concrete practice “spoke to our condition” as the Quakers say. It awakened a hunger for more of what he was showing us.
Over the next two years we explored several intensive wilderness experiences both with Animas and also with The School of Lost Borders. These intensives culminated for me in a two-week “vision fast” in the isolated hills of Eastern Tennessee - the home of my ancestors. Toward the end I received a clear “word” that continued to provide me encouragement, strength, and direction for the next decade.
Eventually, I grew tired of Animas’s lack of social vision and rootedness in white privilege. (They’ve been working on that.) But I was used to finding treasure amid such limitations. After all, I’ve been part of the American church all my life (insert smile and wink emoji).
What I learned from Animas prepared me for the difficult years ahead. I didn’t at that time know about the imminent death of both parents, a divorce, a stroke, nor the pandemic!
And though it was not their intention, my experience with Animas renewed my Christian faith.
We all need renewal in our lives. Even without a disaster or some other crisis, we face times when our inner resources are not adequate to our outward demands. This is not a fault, but merely the human condition. We need reminders that we are not self-sufficient so that we look outside ourselves for what we need - for what makes our life possible.
We are interdependent, interconnected creatures; creatures of “inter-being” as Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us.
Our interaction with Animas wouldn’t work for everyone. However, I suspect that life/spirit/god can and will provide streams of renewal that meet our needs and equip us for uncertain futures. That is my experience, my testimony, and my faith anyway.
But we need to be looking for them, hungering and thirsting for them, and even a bit desperate (I suspect it’s the true meaning of what Jesus said in Matthew 11:12).
Sometimes renewal is only three days deep.
THREE DAYS DEEP “Modern life is only three days deep.” – Martin Shaw Three days is all it would take. The first day we would sleep, exhausted from all we have come through. The second day, blinking in the blinding sun, we would orient ourselves to the cardinal directions. The third at last, we would become real again, once more feeling the sacred earth beneath our bare feet. But to begin, we must go deeper, wait longer, hope harder, abide with uncertainty, fear, even hunger. Only then will refreshment finally flow through these dark ditches of confusion. 7-12-2023
Having spent some time in my own wilderness of darkness I can certainly appreciate your poetry- particularly the revelation that "only then will refreshment finally flow theough these ditches of confusion"
It was only in passing through the depths of despair and trials that I was finally able to recognize the sunlight of the spirit- it has always been there but I could not see until I could!